Gina (wpanthergirl) wrote in your_input,

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Major Advice Needed

Alright, this is killing me. I've written before about how I have a friend with benifits. We've been doing this for almost a year. We do everything but have sex (yes we do oral). *sigh* and of course i've broken the main rule, no falling in love. I don't know if he knows... I don't know what I should do. Should I keep doing stuff with him? Or just ask to be friends, he's told me before that, that would be fine too. I don't want us to stop screwing around... i'm so happy when i'm with him... I worry about him, and care about him more than anything. Nither of us has screwed around with anyone else. He treats me better than any other guy ever has, doesn't yell or hit me. I've told him how I feel but he said that if he said he cared about me like that he'd just be lying to me and himself and he can't do that. He wants to be friends no matter what... I don't know if I'm that strong. I want to be with him really badly, but I know there is nothing I can do to change his mind... and I know I wouldn't want him to lie. I'm just so clueless. I love to just be able to hug him and feel comfortable... thats something i've never been able to do with anyone. Why am I not good enough? Just any advice would help.... sorry for freaking out, I just needed to get some of this out. And sorry if this doesn't fit in the catagory of the community. Should I stop talking to and seeing him all together? Should I try friends? Or should I keep the thing I have? Don't get me wrong what him and I have is wonderful (to me, i'm not sure about to him) and I really don't want to lose him in any way. Grrr... I need some major help... thanks...

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unless you think hell love you back
and if he cant/wont

Thank you...

I'm going to talk to him tonight about it, and probably make a choice... or wait until Thursday when I see him. Your opinion seems widely shaired though in other community's i've posted this in.

If you like guys taking friendly advantage you, and not wanting more REAL feeling then
or if yur name is MAtt and you like people walkin on you...

When you have F/P that last too long , emotions will grow, normally just on one side

You are better than that and deserve more

SOrry if I would all militant
If I SOUND all militant
It's fine... I needed that.
First off...I would tell him how you feel. Regardless of how you know he might feel, or feel like you know how he would feel. Because things change. If he doesn't like you in the same way. THEN FOR THE LOVE OF GOD! Please do yourself and favor and call it off. Just be friends and don't do anything. It will only make you more depressed about the fact that you cannot be together. Not to mention it really isn't a healthy situation. Not that its healthy in the first place.
Yeah, very common opnion, thank you very much.
welcome...I just hope the best happens. Its not an easy situation to be in. I never have been, so I guess its kind of hard for me to comprehend how it happens. I have had many friends be in that situation including my I guess it happens a lot.
Hello. I Dont know you, but you seem to be a damsel in distress (Never fear, Joel is here...).

I pretty much agree with everyone else on this one. Call it off, and if for whatever reason he feel so strongly in emotions towards you, he will at least make an attempt to preserve what he already has with you. Man is a beast of confort. If he likes what he has, he will scramble and get unhappy when it is taken away from him, and after he realized what was lost, true emotions come out of our incomprehensible brains. So he will realize one of two things:

1- He also loves you but has been a commitment-phobe.
2- He really doenst want a relationship in the first place and will run...(but then again, if he has any feelings for you at all, then sooner or later he will come back. You just might have moved on by are dumb, I should know, Im one.)

I urge you to express your true feelings for him in the first place. I know about friends with benefit relationships because I was in a few recently (moved on). My last FWB is now happily married, and Im happy for her. I hope all ends well between you two, and who knows, it may work out.
Well Joel thank you. I have to say that is one of the best reply's i've gotten. I have talked to him plenty of times about my feelings. He just doesn't feel the same way about me or want a relationship... *sigh* I doubt i'll ever do friends with benifits again after this.

No problem, Im always here to help.

Youve expressed your feelings before, and thats a good thing, BUT....(and pay attention folks, this one is free), youve still had sex(or whatever) with him. So even if he is not giving you what YOU want, he is still getting what HE wants. Getting the picture?

If you cut off the sex part, that leaves him in a bind. And from the looks of it, he only wants sex...I think. You know, just keep true to yourself and fuck the world. Im sure the situation will work itself out (maybe not the way you want or expect it, but it wil be better anyways). Youll find another FWB (I hope not though), or a brand-spanking-new boyfriend. Just calm down and clear your head, and think things through. We all love ya.
I'm not sure about him only wanting sex. I know my friendship means something to him because he's offered to just stay friends and cut the benifits if I can't do it anymore. I'm the problem, I don't know if I can stop doing that... I'm crazy huh? Well Thanks again.